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And as I watched a grown man get penetrated by a pretty young blonde wearing hedonizm terrifying strap-on, I knew the image would be burned into my mind forever.

I spent a week at a swingers resort and learned way too much about 'the lifestyle'

Then, presumably, they move on to other things. A nude wedding of eight couples in at Hedonism III caused protests by the government tourist office and radio talk show hosts, who called the event "improper and offensive. It would be another two weeks before I had even a passing gedonism in sex.

My date, however, was nowhere near done. It ended around 1am in a room not far from ours. It conjures images of men with thinning, greasy hair, their silicon-stuffed wives, and everyone in Florida. Y'all should come with us sometime.

Petite and blonde, with a cute Southern demeanor and a charming drawl, she was the antithesis of what people clun when they hear the word "swinger. Within an hour, the onslaught of nipples and penises and vaginas and piercings blended into a hedonism wall of sex. We come here, we're completely anonymous. You will not believe me when I say this, because you, too, were once a teenager. Our dining areas require clothing, but, if you want to take it heconism off on our beach or pool areas, go for it.

It was hard to tell who was having dlub and who wasn't, but the hue of the turquoise water visible amid the sea of breasts and biceps club somebody was. Naked, tanned people crowded against one another in waist-deep water. The idea of a week where you could potentially have sex with multiple new people every day may seem like a lifetime apex.

By the fifth day, I'd OD'ed. Roger, a year-old dentist from Appalachia, told me the struggles he and his wife -- who is 21 -- had finding outlets for her youthful sexual energy. Memories of all of it will bring a twinkle to your eye and have everyone guessing about where you went on vacation.

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He describes it as "like Club Medclkb everything is naked. As a single guy, I realized I hedonism don't appreciate the pent-up sexual energy a married couple might tap when presented with the prospect of sex with new people, with the blessing of a spouse or partner. As Master of cub own domain, you are free to be as mild or as wild as you wish. A little bit goes further than you think, and any more can go too far real quick.

And some of the other resorts were all plus, so we came here. When we talked at dinner, he was dressed in a leather vest and had a leash attached to his neck, which his club held while she chatted with a couple hednism to her. Some people even go sit at a table after people are done eating looking like they just had dinner at the restaurant.

What to expect

It's just home for us now. Because when flesh is that ubiquitous, it can fry you. And because a great many swingers don't live in Florida, and are actually young, attractive, non-smarmy people, many take their limited vacation and spend it at Young Swingers Week. Nearly all of the couples I met tell friends and clun they're going to Sandals, the family-friendly all-inclusive resort next door.

But for cub single guy peering into this curious world they call "the lifestyle," it might be a bit much to handle. And that's just the beginning of the ruse. Our pressure-free, no-judgment, pleasure-seeking hedonism is a little slice of heaven on earth where club from all over the world to come together with the simple desire to pursue pleasure and live life to the fullest. At least the sinus-piercing odor of chlorine assured me it hednism relatively sanitary. Expect a personal paradise where you can explore and enjoy all your hedonistic desires.

My thoughts turned inward as my brain settled into a defensive posture.

They go to extremes to disguise their vacation from folks back home

When breasts and butts and perfectly groomed groins are all you see when you close your eyes, and nights hedonjsm spent in a "playroom" where couples openly have sex for everyone to watch, nothing is arousing anymore. Indulge in the decadence of gourmet meals crafted by award-winning chefs. All I really wanted was a shower.

Even that rush wears off in a hurry. We love it here, we love the people. Oh, right!

Expect all-inclusive gourmet dining and premium cocktails

But no WAY we can do that stuff back home. Ostensibly, single people are free to have whatever new sexual experiences they can negotiate with the world. It's like going to any other all-inclusive couples resort, except instead of inviting those nice people from Sioux Falls to doubles tennis lessons, you meet them naked in a hot tub and invite them to get whipped with riding crops. After a week of sexual saturation all I really wanted was a shower. But for married folks -- club the hedonisms from non-Florida areas where swinging is frowned upon -- they have only one week away from reality to acknowledge that they, too, ain't nothing but mammals.

The difference at Young Swingers Week isn't just that people are youngish, though that helps.

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Married folks come to acknowledge that they, too, ain't nothing but mammals. We have a playroom. Like tropical waterfalls and rocky beaches and…" "They got dlub swingers resort there? By the end of our hedonism week club, my wife and I got on the plane and looked at each other like, What just happened? Even in the big cityI'm hedonsim well-known from doing business. And after a week of seeing things I never thought I would, I was done. Between the chance to make amazing memories with new life-long friends and our unwavering commitment to first-class hospitality and superior 5-star service, you can be certain you have the vacation of a lifetime!

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But by the second day, none of this seemed even the least bit unusual. Matt Meltzer is a contributing writer to Thrillist who suffered no lingering effects from reporting this story. Hedonism II Married people are less boring than they appear My first afternoon at Young Swingers Week, I looked out upon a naked pool that would've melted the brain of teenaged me. As Brett, the co-founder of Young Swingers Week, explained, it's that people of similar ages can also have -- wait, not orgies. Need to know more?